The Only Valid Excuse

Time for a blog post that is real. To the heart of the issue. Excuses. THERE ARE NONE. Sorry. If you're looking for a shoulder to cry on, this one isn't it.

I fell into this line of thinking many times over. That is why I've never succeeded in my goals. The excuses I fell into were (in no particular order):

1. I'm not worth it.
2. I have too much to lose.
3. I will qualify for gastric bypass surgery.
4. I can't do anything but the stationary bike.
5. I won't be able to do this on my own.
6. The time isn't right.
7. It's too late to go workout.
8. It's faster to go eat fast food.

In order to reach my goals and strive toward success with this battle, I really had to learn many things.

1. I am worth it. 
2. I do not have too much to lose. Other people have done it. Why can't I?
3. I didn't qualify for gastric bypass surgery. I know, I was 300 pounds overweight, but I didn't qualify. Crazy, I know. Now, I'm 240 pounds overweight. I still don't qualify. And, even if I did, I don't want the surgery. I have to learn why I did what I did to my body, so I can not make those choices again.
4. I can do all kinds of things - elliptical, treadmill, stationary bike, free weights, medicine balls, ropes, and I'm sure there's more that Danny hasn't introduced tortured me with yet. Bring it on!
5. I can do this. I'm the only one that can do this. No one can make the decision for me. I had to finally say, "Enough is enough."
6. The time is NOW. Period. It's not tomorrow or Monday....tomorrow or Monday never comes. Trust me. Up until recently, I've been waiting for tomorrow or Monday for about 15 years. 
7. The gym is open 24 hours. It's never too late to go workout. Or too early for that matter. I'm actually growing accustomed to seeing the outside world at 5:00 in the morning. I don't love it still, but it's growing on me.
8. Yes, it is faster. In the short term. But, it's not faster when you walk slower, or not at all. When your clothes are too tight. When you can't buckle your seatbelt. When you can't go hang out with friends because you don't fit in the seats at the movie theaters or concert arenas. When you pass up an awesome trip with awesome friends because you can't afford to buy two plane tickets so you have plenty of room. When you are in pain all the time. When you are struggling with an illness that just will not go away.

The bottom line is this (and yes, I stole these quotes from somewhere online):

"It's not who you think you are that holds you back. It's who you think you are not."

 I had to learn (even though it is a basic principle) that I am worth this journey. I have a lot to offer this world, and I intend to take it by storm. Bring on the challenges. It's through those challenges that I am developing who I am. I am a woman who deserves to be loved for who she is and not just what I can give to other people. I am a person who has real feelings and deserves to live life to the fullest. That's why we are here.

I'll leave you with one last quote - this one really jumped at me. I scrawled it in huge letters on my notepad that sits on my desk:

"Put aside all excuses and remember this: YOU ARE CAPABLE."  - Zig Ziglar

Shocked and Ecstatic

Today is the day. The day I was excited for but dreading all at the same time. I had to mentally psych myself up for it. I don't know why. I can tell a difference in my clothing (I can't wear my older stuff - it's falling off me - and no, I'm not complaining about that). You may remember. Today is measurement day. It was also my mom's birthday, so I didn't get in as long of a workout as I would've liked. But, that's going to happen. So, here is the side by side comparison I promised:

The photo on the left was taken on April 17, 2013 when I first started training with Danny (I started at the gym the first week of April for a total so far of 62 days - 61 of which were spent in the gym). The photo on the right is today's photo, just 6 weeks after training started.

The photo on the left is at 422.6 pounds.
The photo on the right is at approximately 379 pounds.
Difference from beginning weight loss journey of 438.2 is 59.2 pounds.

I cannot thank those who have encouraged me, helped me, motivated me, and believed in me enough. This has been a wild ride so far, and I can't wait for the rest. I have never been one for photos, but I am totally excited about the difference I can see and can't wait until the next round! 

Measurement comparisons:

	May 2, 2013	June 3, 2013
Neck	16 inches	15.5 inches
Chest	52.5 inches	51.0 inches
Waist	56.0 inches	52.0 inches
Hips	75.0 inches	73.0 inches
Left thigh	39.5 inches	37.0 inches
Right thigh	36.5 inches	35.5 inches
Left calf	26.0 inches	26.0 inches
Right calf	28.5 inches	26.0 inches
Left bicep	21.5 inches	21.0 inches
Right bicep	20.5 inches	19.5 inches
Shoulders	56.5 inches	53.0 inches
TOTAL LOST		20.0 inches

I honestly don't even know what to do at this point except keep on! There is NO turning back from this journey - it's gonna be a wild ride and I plan to enjoy every minute of it (even if it does include suicide runs, Danny!).

Gym time is coming early...5:30 is crazy early, but I'll be there with bells on, ready to shed some more pounds and inches. If you want to join me on this crazy ride, just call me - I'll help you get started and we'll set up a time to workout together. It's always easier when someone who has been there and understands what you are going through is your accountability partner. THANK YOU to all. I couldn't have done it without you.

I Am Not Focusing On Results

You are probably wondering what in the world I am talking about. Not going to focus on results? What? Isn't that what someone on a life journey is supposed to do? 


"If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results." - Jack Dixon

As I am thumbing through some pages of motivational quotes tonight, I stumbled across this one. It spoke to me. How true this statement is. When I first decided to embark on this journey, I knew the end result was that I wanted to lose close to 275 pounds. Maybe a little more, maybe a little less. I'm not quite sure yet. I came to realize that before I started this particular journey, I focused on the results and not the changes required to make those results. This made it too easy to quit. What do I mean? Well, think about it. If you had 275 pounds to lose, and that's what you focused on, it would be very hard for you to stay motivated. How true that was for me. This time around I had to change my focus and start making small changes. No more sodas. Drinking 8 glasses of water a day. No fast food. Exercising for 30 minutes a day. Establishing a support system. Finding an accountability partner that I could be gut-wrenching honest with and call in a pinch if I felt myself slipping or tempted. All of those by themselves are smaller tasks. But put them together and they are a recipe for success.

Please know that I struggle with this daily. It is hard for me to understand why the scale didn't move when I was spot-on on the diet and I busted my behind at the gym for 2 hours. I can't focus on that. If I do, I will quit. I have to focus on the differences I can see and feel in my life. It's a daily struggle with me to stay on track. It's very easy to fall back into the mindset of "it's just a bite, it won't hurt me." One bite leads to another, which leads to another, and soon, I'm back in the vicious cycle and undoing all of the hard work I have done.

Measurements are tomorrow. I'm so excited yet nervous at the same time. I don't know why I'm nervous. I guess because I don't really know what to expect.  I don't know what an average loss of inches should be. I guess it varies by person. I also have to have a new picture taken. I'm kind of excited to see the difference. I'm going to wear the same outfit I wore for the first picture so I can really see the difference. I will post tomorrow night so stay tuned!

Ultimately, though, it doesn't matter what the scale says. It doesn't matter what the measuring tape says. It matters that I have had a mental change and that I am now willing to do whatever it takes to succeed.

If you're on a journey to a healthier lifestyle, please let me know! Email me at ashlwar84@iCloud.com. I will do what I can to encourage you on your journey to a healthy life!