Just a Speed Bump

If you have been reading the blog posts, you know that on Tuesday of last week, I fell off the treadmill. Yes, it takes someone <ahem, special> like me to do that. What you also know is that I am prone to infection easily because of past health issues.

So, I went to the doctor on Monday of this week, and while he thinks it is not an infection, he wanted it ruled out by the surgeon. On Tuesday, I reluctantly called the surgeon (nice guy, but those bills make me cringe) and made an appointment for Wednesday. As soon as he started looking at it, I knew. He scheduled an incision and drainage for tomorrow morning. I have to be at the hospital at 6:00 a.m. the surgery is supposed to start around 7:30 a.m.

I'm not scared of the surgery. I've been down this road before. Different reasons, but same surgery. What I'm scared of is the derailment. The last time I got sick and was in the hospital for a week, I quit. I ate fast food at the hospital (let's be real, hospital food is nasty) for every meal, just about. I do not want to return to that lifestyle. It was not fun. I was just existing. Now, I feel like I'm living....at least a little. But, I have to compare the two scenarios....it is like apples and oranges, really.

See, then, I was doing the carb cycling program in Chris Powell's book Choose to Lose. I'm not saying carb cycling doesn't work. It does. But, what did not work for me was the number of cheats I was allowed to have. It was a detrimental thing for me, truthfully. It did get me into the gym, which that alone was a blessing in disguise, but it did not really do anything for me physically. When I got sick, though, I just stopped going. I would go sporadically. The difference now is that I have been eating clean for three months. I have had something not prepared by myself only a handful of times, and usually on a special occasion, like someone's birthday or Mother's / Father's Day, etc. The difference then is I did not really believe I could lose the weight. Now, I do. Then, I only had the support system of my family. Now, I have a whole other family - at the gym. I have too many people to list, but they've all promised they'll kill me if I quit. I'm trying to look at this as a speed bump, not a roadblock.

I have come too far to lose this battle now. This is the most weight I've ever lost, and I do not intend to ever find it again. Measurements and new pictures is supposed to be on Monday; we'll see how it goes. If I am allowed to go to the gym just for measurements and upper body workout, I will. Otherwise, I will reschedule for sometime next week, and we'll just take it from there. I did not get to the gym early enough tonight to do measurements (plus, that's not fair to measure my calf muscle when I have a huge swollen bruise on it).  I am excited about the measurements. The weight has slowly but steadily been coming off. The inches are where I am measuring success.

To all of you out there who are my support group, thank you. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers tomorrow. I appreciate each and every one of you more than you know.