Saturday, September 7, 2013

I Admit You Were Right, Danny!

Okay, I will admit (so that I can get it over with) DANNY WAS RIGHT. Cardio is key to blasting fat. 

Today we did measurements and a weigh-in. If you've been following the blog for any recent amount of time, you know I was dreading measurements, primarily due to the week-long visit at Chesapeake General last week, coupled with the fabulous heart healthy diet they fed me. At any rate, the good news for me is that I did not gain an ounce during my stay there. It solidified for me that I have learned something on this journey. It's only been five months, but I have learned something. Anyway, I digress. 

So we did measurements and I finally saw some movement in my hips. They had stayed the same for the last three months. Total inches lost this month was 12. Total pounds lost since last measurements was 21. To top it all off, despite being hospitalized for a week, I still made the top ten users list for August!

Today was a workout like no other. First, I had training with Danny at 7:00 a.m.  This consisted of treadmill on incline, modified burpees, snatches, sit-ups, and something else, but I don't remember what. 

After that, at the gym, there was a Body Challenge Alumni Reunion. I didn't participate in Body Challenge this year. I didn't get back to the gym legitimately until it was almost over. Phil and Danny led this workout. It was like no other. I'd heard a joke about "Phil minutes" prior to this workout, but now I can say I have experienced them for myself. Phil minutes are supposedly 60 seconds; however, I think they lean more toward 90 seconds or 2 minutes in some cases. It's all good...no pain, no gain, right?

At the end of the workouts, I actually felt nauseous. I think I guzzled my water too quickly, and too much of it. That was an awful feeling. 

While I was recuperating, my mom came over to me in the gym with this rolled up paper. She had made a banner for me that said, Congrats on the 100 pounds. She apparently then had everyone sign it. By everyone, I mean choir people, gym people, family, church people and of course, Danny! Then she told me that people had donated money toward my next pair of running shoes. I was floored. Not only was there enough for the shoes, but there is enough to ensure I have a little bit saved for the next time I will need shoes. 

After the workouts, I weighed again and it showed a loss of 112. I don't know how legitimate that is, so I'm sticking with 110 for now. 

So now, I will end with this: Danny, you were right. I will keep going with the cardio, as much as I hate it. It does work, and it is totally worth it. 

To the rest of you...thank you for your encouragement along the way, for your push (even when you didn't know you were pushing) and for listening to me drone on and on about fitness and health/nutrition.

Pictures to come next week. 


Thursday, September 5, 2013

Obstacles

Obstacles are not meant to be surrendered to...they are meant to be BROKEN. What are some of the obstacles you face? For me, the obstacle I faced was fear. Of what? Fear of the unknown. Fear of judgment. Fear of falling and hurting myself. Fear of transforming. I was afraid. 

I sure on some level, in some way, I've been judged at the gym. Maybe for my size. Maybe for my cheesy workout clothes. Maybe for my lack of being able to continuously do cardio. Maybe for sweating all crazy like after just 5 minutes of activity. But, I just have to say that it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, because I've overcome a fear. Now, I don't care what people think of me (don't get me wrong...the thought still crosses my mind, but now I can redirect my thought process). I am doing this for me. 

The fear of falling and hurting myself. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. It's life. It's gonna happen. I'm gonna drop a weight or fall off the treadmill (though I hope not - the amount of recovery time for that was ridiculous)! It is going to happen. The point is, that you have to get up and try again. Don't let that mini failure set you back. 

Now, the fear of transformation is one I'm still working on. I've always been the fat girl and could hide behind my weight. I didn't really venture out and try new things. I'm still not sure how this will pan out. I'm scared of what the future holds for me. Does it hold love? Does it hold different friendships? Does it hold getting my degree? I've always been complacent in my life. What I mean is that I am content with my Associates Degree. I'm content with my friends. I'm content being single. Changing any or all of that scares me. Sometimes it makes me wonder if the transformation is ultimately worth it. Don't worry, deep down I know it is, but this is honestly what plays through my mind. 

Weigh-in was last night. I was thrilled to be down 2 more pounds since Monday. On Monday, after I was discharged from hospital, I went to the gym to weigh and see what damage had been done by the lovely diet they fed me and the lack of cardio. To my surprise, I was dead on to where I was last week. Did not gain an ounce. That, my friends, is progress. So, to be down 2 more pounds this week is fabulous! I will be doing measurements on Saturday morning as well as new pictures. We shall see!

SW: 459 lbs
CW: 341 lbs
Total Lost: 108 pounds since 4/1/13
GW#1: 298 by 12/15/13 (total 151 lbs)
GW#2: 265 by 3/10/14 (total 194 lbs)
GW#3: 259 by 4/1/14 (total 200 lbs)

It's been awhile....a good long while

It has been a good long while since I have felt anything but self-hate and negativity toward myself. I tried not to show it on the outside, ...