Obstacles

Obstacles are not meant to be surrendered to...they are meant to be BROKEN. What are some of the obstacles you face? For me, the obstacle I faced was fear. Of what? Fear of the unknown. Fear of judgment. Fear of falling and hurting myself. Fear of transforming. I was afraid. 

I sure on some level, in some way, I've been judged at the gym. Maybe for my size. Maybe for my cheesy workout clothes. Maybe for my lack of being able to continuously do cardio. Maybe for sweating all crazy like after just 5 minutes of activity. But, I just have to say that it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, because I've overcome a fear. Now, I don't care what people think of me (don't get me wrong...the thought still crosses my mind, but now I can redirect my thought process). I am doing this for me. 

The fear of falling and hurting myself. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. It's life. It's gonna happen. I'm gonna drop a weight or fall off the treadmill (though I hope not - the amount of recovery time for that was ridiculous)! It is going to happen. The point is, that you have to get up and try again. Don't let that mini failure set you back. 

Now, the fear of transformation is one I'm still working on. I've always been the fat girl and could hide behind my weight. I didn't really venture out and try new things. I'm still not sure how this will pan out. I'm scared of what the future holds for me. Does it hold love? Does it hold different friendships? Does it hold getting my degree? I've always been complacent in my life. What I mean is that I am content with my Associates Degree. I'm content with my friends. I'm content being single. Changing any or all of that scares me. Sometimes it makes me wonder if the transformation is ultimately worth it. Don't worry, deep down I know it is, but this is honestly what plays through my mind. 

Weigh-in was last night. I was thrilled to be down 2 more pounds since Monday. On Monday, after I was discharged from hospital, I went to the gym to weigh and see what damage had been done by the lovely diet they fed me and the lack of cardio. To my surprise, I was dead on to where I was last week. Did not gain an ounce. That, my friends, is progress. So, to be down 2 more pounds this week is fabulous! I will be doing measurements on Saturday morning as well as new pictures. We shall see!

SW: 459 lbs

CW: 341 lbs

Total Lost: 108 pounds since 4/1/13

GW#1: 298 by 12/15/13 (total 151 lbs)

GW#2: 265 by 3/10/14 (total 194 lbs)

GW#3: 259 by 4/1/14 (total 200 lbs)