This past week, and really since I have been out of the hospital, has been a struggle for me to eat right. I haven't been horrible, but I haven't denied myself anything either. I've been to the gym every single day that I was supposed to go. I have done what I was supposed to do in the exercise world. Not in the healthy eating world. I don't know why that is so hard for me. I think part of it is that I get very bored eating the same thugs repetitively...but that's just an excuse. I've done it before. Somehow over the past couple months I have developed a mentality that it doesn't matter what I eat because (a) I'm at the gym 2-3 hours a day, 6 days a week and (b) I'm still losing weight because I'm staying under my calorie goals. That's not the right mentality to have and I know hat. I need to change it, but I don't know how. Any suggestions? Let me hear from you!
Friday, October 18, 2013
Sabotage
What is it about our nature that makes us want to sabotage our success? Why is it that we are willing to work so hard to achieve a goal, and then turn around and demolish all the hard work we have done for so many months? Personally (and I think it could be different for everyone) I think mine is fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of not being "the big girl" and not having that shield to hide behind. Fear that I will still be rejected. Fear that nothing in my life will have changed from the time I was 459 pounds. I don't know if this fear is normal, but I am thinking everyone who takes a drastic weight loss journey experiences this at some time or another.
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ReplyDeleteCharlie, you will still be rejected by some regardless of your appearance. However, this means that there is something wrong with them, not you. As for the eating...I eat because I have a passion for food. I grew up with immigrants so food was always interesting, tasty and a ritual. I find that Americans have lost this gift. Americans eat on the fly. I don't think most even taste what they are eating. Most have under-developed palates, stuck in the burger and grilled-cheese sandwich stage of junior high or high school. Most Americans no longer know what to do with vegetable. They don't know how to eat a variety of vegetables and make them interesting. This morning for breakfast I had two scrambled eggs, scrambled in olive oil with chopped bell peppers and onions. For lunch I had a cup of homemade vegetable barley soup (leftover from last night's oxtail barley vegetable soup, sans the oxtails), cucumber and red onion salad, stuffed yellow squash (stuffed with the inside of the squash scooped out, chopped and sauteed with onion, garlic and tomato, topped with cheese and baked), rice pilaf with fried cabbage, and muscadines, washed down with stevia sweetened apple scented green sencha tea. For supper I might have a cup of soup with a small salad and maybe a square of chocolate. All of this is very normal eating for me. This is how I was raised. None of it is hard to make. It's just a matter of opening your eyes to see what's around you and getting creative. Maybe it's time for you to take some healthy cooking classes or subscribe to Eating Well or Vegetarian Times magazines. This might help keep the boredom away. I would die if food became boring. It has to be an adventure.
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