This post is about being real. Real struggles. Real situations. Real celebrations. Real frustrations. On Monday, I was struggling. I was so frustrated. Why? I've got nothing but things to celebrate, right? Wrong. I was down on Monday. So far down I cried for an hour once I got home from training and the gym. Why was I struggling? We had Small Group Training Monday night. I literally could not do half the exercises in the set. I know, I know...it will come with time. I want time to speed by. I want to be able to knock out push-ups and sit-ups and planks and anything that is thrown my way. In the moment, I was frustrated. Then, it was time for personal training. Ever since I fell, I have this phobia about falling off the treadmill again. So then, I hold on for dear life. I let my mind trick me into thinking that I cannot do something. The reality is that I can do what I put my mind to. I just have to get around the mental block I put up for myself. Needless to say, all of those things compounded into a very frustrated person.
Why is it that I focus on how far I have to go instead of how far I've come? So far in this journey, I have lost 93 pounds. In just four months. And that's with being down from cardio for three weeks. I have 7 more pounds until I hit my goal of 100. I tend to focus on the fact that I have 200 more pounds to go. And I will be honest. This is daunting. But I will succeed. Day by day. Choice by choice. Each day is a battle of willpower. But I will ultimately win the war.
Honestly, I debated about posting this. I wanted my blog to be full of positive vibes and encouragement. But I think you all need to see the reality of this battle. It's not easy. But it will be worth it in the end. It's definitely an emotional battle. It's a mental battle. It's a physical battle.
I know that was hard to post but losing weight is not all pounds lost and goals reached. It is a daily struggle--with each meal, each workout, each temptation, each conversation.
ReplyDeleteContinue to focus on where you have come from... you can tackle the other pounds to lose but don't let that daunting number keep you from losing them!
Ashley, this is a very positive post. You were done but you kept going. I can't think of anything more positive than that! As for what's ahead of you...you could be like me, looking at the wake of destruction you left behind. My life has been like a ship tossed at sea. And now what? I'm nearly 50 (next month). At this age certain things stand in my way to be able to do some of the things I would like to have done. So what do I do? The only thing I can do. I change my reality. I'm focusing on having the simplest life I can have in this next half. Simple and healthy.
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