Friday, January 2, 2015

Realizing my identity...and a look back at 2014!



                 Someone asked me today, “What’s the purpose of your blog?”  Well, the purpose of this blog is to (hopefully) inspire others and give them the courage to stand up for themselves and do what they need to better themselves. See, there was a time that I believed I didn’t matter, that I wasn’t worth the change, and that I was too far gone to help. The reality is, I AM WORTH IT. And, so are you. We are all Sons/Daughters of the King and that makes us worth it. 

                This year, there is a trend going around of selecting a word that you feel led to focus on. I have two. My two words are “identity” and “confident”.  First, my identity. According to Psalm 139, I am fearfully and wonderfully made. And, best of all, I was made for a purpose. I may not have discovered that purpose yet, but I was created for such a time as this. Often, we will not know what that time is until we have gone through it and come out on the other side. Second, the word confident.  Confidence is something I have always struggled with. Ever since grade school, confidence (or the lack thereof) has been the thorn in my side. This was because I did not know or believe my true identity.

                So what does all this have to do with 2015? Well, 2015 is off to a pretty great start for me. 2014 wasn’t so bad either, although I didn’t make as much progress in my weight loss journey as I would have liked (totally my fault). I fell back into some of my old habits and even found myself sneaking food. Yes, sneaking food. At thirty years old. I’m not proud of those moments, but they happened, and I have to own up to them.

                I thought that my identity was found when I reconnected with an amazing man that truly loves me for me (despite my cranky moods and sometimes irritability). And, while I do love him dearly, he is not my identity. My identity is that of a “Daughter of the King.” Valued and treasured for who He created me to be. Regardless of whether I am 500 pounds or 150 pounds, I am a Daughter of the King.

                My goals in 2015 are simple. Remember my identity. If I remember my identity and live in confidence in that identity, nothing can stand in my way. This does not mean that just believing this will make the weight magically melt away (I wish!). Of course not. It means that I have to work hard and believe in my identity and believe that God will see me through.

                2015 is going to be a huge year for me. As many of you know, I visited the plastic surgeon back in July and had a follow-up in November. In November, the doctor told me he was going to go ahead and apply for the skin removal surgery. I never in a million years thought the insurance company would approve the surgery with no questions asked, but they did! God is in control! This is just another way that God has shown his providential love to me over the course of the weight loss journey I have been on. Not only did I not ever think that the insurance company would do this, but I don’t think I truly believed God was able to provide in such a drastic measure. I mean, I know that He is able, but knowing it and living it are two totally different things.
               
           Great things happened in 2014...my friend Shelby got engaged (woo-hoo!), I started dating an awesome Christian guy (double woo-hoo) and I met many weight loss challenges face on. Some I succeeded at and others I did not.

               So, here’s to 2015 and all the wonderful changes it will bring.  Go forth and realize your identity.

It's been awhile....a good long while

It has been a good long while since I have felt anything but self-hate and negativity toward myself. I tried not to show it on the outside, ...