When I initially started on this weight loss journey in April, I was excited. Nothing could deter me. I wasn't going to let it. Nothing kept me from the gym. Nothing made me deter from the diet plan I had chosen. Nothing. I fact, I remember being too scared to miss a day at the gym or eat my first "cheat" meal because I was afraid it would derail my efforts. I literally was afraid to eat the small personal pan pizza because of the possibility of falling off the wagon.
After my first "cheat" meal, I began to allow myself more frequent cheats...I other words, I didn't wait 50 pounds to have something I wanted. Over time, it became that if I wanted it, I would have it. Then, work it off in the gym. What I didn't realize (or, truthfully, maybe I did) is that I was only hurting myself. I was changing my mentality and becoming comfortable. If I'm honest with myself, I allowed my definition of "clean eating" to change. As long as I was going to the gym and burning off all the consumed calories, then I was eating clean. Not true. It just doesn't work that way.
Most already know this, but I hate cardio. I don't know why. Maybe it's because of the level of exertion required to move all of this excess weight. Maybe it's because it gets boring and monotonous. Or, as is usually the case, it is because my attitude about doing it stinks. If I would just put on my big girl pants and do it, it'd be over in just 45 minutes. With this, too, I became comfortable. I became comfortable and satisfied with running in 45 second increments. Deep down I still want to run, but...I haven't wanted it bad enough to push myself and train myself to do it for longer. That has to change. I can't become frustrated with not being better at something if I'm not willing to work on it.
Looking back, I have to say that I was comfortable being uncomfortable before this journey. My life was not something that was pleasant...but that was due to my own doing. I was uncomfortable at restaurants when my whole family had to wait for a table to become available because I couldn't fit in a booth. I was uncomfortable when I had to buy two airline tickets just to fit my fat. I was uncomfortable going anywhere with my active nephew for fear he would run off and I wouldn't be able to catch him. I I was comfortable in being that uncomfortable then why can't I be comfortable being uncomfortable on the healthy side of things? Why can't I be comfortable pushing myself to improve my running, lifting, etc.
I am no longer making excuses. I have a job to do and I am going to get it done. There are no shortcuts to success. The word "can't" is being removed from my vocabulary.
They say that the key to weight loss is 30% gym and 70% diet. They also say that losing weight is 90% mental. I believe that whole-heartedly. It is a constant struggle with me. Food is an addiction. It is up to me to make the right decision.
So here is my proposition for you all. Let's do it together. Let's get comfortable being uncomfortable and become the best people we can be. Who's in?
