This post is about being real. Real struggles. Real situations. Real celebrations. Real frustrations. On Monday, I was struggling. I was so frustrated. Why? I've got nothing but things to celebrate, right? Wrong. I was down on Monday. So far down I cried for an hour once I got home from training and the gym. Why was I struggling? We had Small Group Training Monday night. I literally could not do half the exercises in the set. I know, I know...it will come with time. I want time to speed by. I want to be able to knock out push-ups and sit-ups and planks and anything that is thrown my way. In the moment, I was frustrated. Then, it was time for personal training. Ever since I fell, I have this phobia about falling off the treadmill again. So then, I hold on for dear life. I let my mind trick me into thinking that I cannot do something. The reality is that I can do what I put my mind to. I just have to get around the mental block I put up for myself. Needless to say, all of those things compounded into a very frustrated person.
Why is it that I focus on how far I have to go instead of how far I've come? So far in this journey, I have lost 93 pounds. In just four months. And that's with being down from cardio for three weeks. I have 7 more pounds until I hit my goal of 100. I tend to focus on the fact that I have 200 more pounds to go. And I will be honest. This is daunting. But I will succeed. Day by day. Choice by choice. Each day is a battle of willpower. But I will ultimately win the war.
Honestly, I debated about posting this. I wanted my blog to be full of positive vibes and encouragement. But I think you all need to see the reality of this battle. It's not easy. But it will be worth it in the end. It's definitely an emotional battle. It's a mental battle. It's a physical battle.
